This is me on a Bali holiday at the end of 2019. It also happens to be my favourite photo.

Let me tell you why.

This photo is the first time I ever took a selfie in a mirror. In writing this blog, I went looking for a photo that showed my starting point - the moment when I finally decided enough was enough. I still clearly remember taking this one and all of the feelings that surrounded it at the time.

I was a super successful career woman, wife, and a mum to 2 sons, time-poor but apparently having it all together. When it came to my own body though, I felt like a failure and was deeply ashamed and embarrassed that I cared so much about how I looked. Being in Bali, surrounded by beautiful bikini-clad holidaymakers didn't help. I would spend hours at night googling how to lose weight, stand in front of the mirror pulling my tummy in, grabbing what I believed to be disgusting rolls of fat, and pulling at them in ways that made me look skinny at the right angle. I was no stranger to 8-week challenges, juice detoxes, and sub-1200-calorie diets. I was a Pilates and Cardio Bunny - 7 days a week I was in the gym on a stationary bike or a reformer machine, yet nothing was really changing in the way I looked.

I was convinced that people in great shape simply had great genetics. I just wasn't one of them.

As frustrated and annoyed as I was at myself for how much time I wasted thinking about my appearance, it still took almost another year before I decided to invest in some expert help. And it was the very best thing I have ever done for myself. I got a coach and a crazy goal: I wanted to compete in a bodybuilding show.

For the next 12 months, I ate & trained just like a bodybuilder.

During this time I realised what I had been getting wrong all of these years. The list is long but here are just a few…

• You can spend as long as you like at the gym but you'll never out-train a bad diet

• Your diet is like your finances. You need to keep an eye on it otherwise you're broke.

• It's never too late to make a start.

• Protein is king. Carbs are not evil. Fats don't make you fat

• Habits matter - big time. Routine is the key to success.

So 22 months after that Bali photo, at the end of 2021, I climbed up on a bodybuilding stage for the first time. And here is the result:

I won 1st place in the 40+ Fitness Model division!

While I am super proud of my results, that is not the point of this story. It’s the other more important stuff I want to share:

• Despite what most people think about bodybuilders being obsessed with their appearance, I stopped caring so much about what my body looks like. Being healthy feels amazing and I became far more interested in what my body is capable of than how it appears. Sure, I take lots of photos, but it's mostly for progress measurement.

• I became fascinated with nutrition, particularly the macronutrient makeup of food, so I got my qualifications as a Nutritionist. I quit my corporate gig and started HIBAR Nutrition. Starting my own business could possibly be the scariest thing I have ever done. It’s still early days, and I doubt myself daily, but I keep taking steps forward every day, no matter how small they are.

• I now view food simply as fuel for my body and nothing else. There is no emotional connection associated with food for me anymore. I have no fear of food and no post-meal guilt. I get to experience “food freedom” every single day. If I eat ‘off plan’ - it doesn’t matter because I am getting it right 99% of the time - how liberating that feels!

• My perspective of my own body has changed. I treat my body as if it is a science experiment. The process of bodybuilding involves strategically cycling through cuts, maintenance, and growth phases. If I want to lose weight - I know what to do in order to do it healthily. If I want to put on weight, I know what to do in order to maximise muscle growth. And I know when, why, and how you need maintenance phases as well.

Knowledge is Power

You see there is power in knowledge - and when it comes to diet and nutrition, despite all of the information out there - most people just don't know what they should be doing when it comes to fueling their bodies to achieve a certain outcome.

It's why I now do what I do.

It's why I left my high-pressure corporate gig and now pour my heart and soul into helping other people feel great about themselves. My nutrition education, passion for bodybuilding, and my experience in high-performance executive coaching mean I am finally living my life's purpose. I love nothing more than to help others learn about the food they eat & what their body needs (psst: it's just math, science & consistency) and I get to help others build the necessary habits and routines that make healthy eating a lifestyle and to stop feeling like $hit about their own bodies.

This is a life that is super rewarding. And I never would have gone down this path if it wasn't for that wonderful photo.