Body Shaming and How it Affects Relationships

In the same way that two people talk about money, family values, and other important issues, many couples discuss their bodies. Fat talk is frequently included in conversations between romantic partners and not always in a good way. Unfortunately, this type of talk doesn't promote body positivity or self-confidence among either party—instead, it can promote negative body image and behaviour. In some cases, it can even lead to eating disorders, depression/anxiety-related disorders, and lower libido or sexual dysfunction.

The good news is that there are proactive steps you and your partner can take to re-frame these topics of conversation and start having healthy discussions about your body image and relationship satisfaction both inside and outside of the bedroom.

What is fat talk?

Fat talk is a conversation that focuses on weight loss, weight gain, or weight maintenance. It often occurs between women and their partners, but can also happen between friends.

It’s when your partner tells you to lose weight and then starts naming your parts that need to shrink. Or it's when you tell him to get on the treadmill when he complains about his love handles. Fat talk isn't just the negative words from others; it's also the seemingly positive things we say to ourselves like: "I'll just work out tomorrow."

Fat talk can be harmful because it reinforces the idea that being overweight is undesirable by making people feel bad about themselves if they fit into this category — no matter how healthy they might be otherwise or what kind of body image they have!

The Tender Trap

Body shaming is such a huge topic that it probably deserves its own blog post, but the thing to remember is that fat talk is often a way of bonding and feeling close with your partner.

You’re probably familiar with this—you and your partner are cuddling and all of a sudden, one person says “wow, I think I gained weight” or something along those lines. Then the other person says “no way! Your body looks great!” And then maybe they feel better about themselves or maybe they don’t, but it doesn’t really matter because what matters is that you two love each other and are talking about your bodies together in an honest way in order to reinforce how much you care for one another.

This kind of verbal validation can be extremely comforting for many people who have struggled with their image for years: when someone else validates their self-image by saying nice things about them, it makes them feel good about themselves—and we all want to feel good!

However, this can also lead down a dangerous path if not handled properly: if one person isn't happy with themselves and they begin making comments like "I'm so fat" while their partner supports them by saying things like "I think you're beautiful," you end up with an unhealthy dynamic wherein one person feels even more ashamed of their body when no objective evidence supports such an idea at all!

What happens instead? Both partners become unhappy because neither party has truly satisfied what they needed in that conversation—one is frustrated because their compliments seem to mean nothing while the other still thinks badly about how they look… and nothing good has ever come out of that situation.

Negative body image can destroy your relationship, but you and your partner have the power to change the conversation.

Body image is a huge issue in our society. It's not just about how you look, but how you feel about yourself. While this problem is not going away anytime soon, there are ways to combat the negative effects of body shaming on your relationship.

You and your partner have the power to change the conversation and shift its focus from appearance to health.

Here are some ways to do just that…

#1. If your partner is shaming you (or themselves) ... say something.

If your partner is shaming you (or themselves), you don't have to pretend like everything is okay. Instead, talk about it. Remember that this isn't just about your partner's body image issues; it's also about how they're treating you and how their words affect your relationship as a whole.

If you want to address the situation and help alleviate some of your stress around talking about these things with your partner, try putting together an agenda for when you plan on having this conversation. You can ask yourself questions like "What do I want my partner's view of me to be?" or "How does my partner's view of me make me feel?" These types of questions will help guide the conversation so that both people involved are being heard and understood.

#2. If you are engaging in fat talk, stop it.

If you are engaging in fat talk, it's time to stop. It is not healthy for your relationship and will only cause more problems than it solves. Fat talk has been linked to eating disorders, depression, low self-esteem, and poor body image, as well as a host of other issues that can wreak havoc on your life.

If you need help stopping the negative cycle of fat talk in your bedroom, there's no shame in seeking help from someone who knows what they're doing—a nutrition counsellor, a therapist or even a doctor would be happy to help!

#3. Try being a Flirtatious Flapdoodle

Flirting is the love language of your relationship.

When you're flirting, you're saying: "I like myself and I think you like me too." It's an ego boost for both people in the conversation because it makes them feel attractive and desired by their partner. When you flirt with each other, it helps to build self-esteem and makes a person feel good about themselves as well as their relationship. This can also lead to a positive mood in general which helps increase happiness or make better decisions throughout the day!

Open Conversations

This is an important conversation to have with yourself and your partner. If you know your partner is engaging in fat talk or body shaming you or themselves, let them know how it makes you feel. This doesn’t have to be a huge confrontation, but just a gentle reminder to try and be more positive about their bodies. If you are the one doing the negative self-talk, stop it. You deserve love and respect from everyone around you including you!